Britney Spears shared what may be her most honest Instagram post in years. 

One day after her stunning conservatorship hearing, Spears opened up to her 30 million followers about how Instagram helped her while “going through hell.” The singer, who is known for her quirky and fun posts, apologized “for pretending like I’ve been ok” when she wasn’t, explaining she was “embarrassed” to tell the truth.

“I just want to tell you guys a little secret… I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I’ve posted … my life seems to look and be pretty amazing,” she began on Thursday. “I think that’s what we all strive for!!!! That was one of my mother’s best traits … no matter how s***** a day was when I was younger … for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was ok.”

The 39-year-old continued, “I’m bringing this to peoples attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week … you obviously really know now it’s not!!!! I apologize for pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years … I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn’t want to capture there Instagram in a fun light.”

Spears’s message accompanied an image of a quote attributed to Albert Einstein, which read, “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

“Believe it or not pretending that I’m ok has actually helped,” she concluded. “So I decided to post this quote today because by golly if you’re going through hell … I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked … so I’ve decided to start reading more fairy tales.”

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On Wednesday, the “I’m a Slave 4 U” artist made shocking revelations about what life has been like in the “abusive” conservatorship. She said she has no control over anything in life, whether it’s accessing her hard earned money or choosing whether or not to be on birth control.

“I’ve lied and told the whole world I’m OK and I’m happy. It’s a lie,” Spears said at one point in her 20-minute speech. “I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. Fake it ’til you make it, but now I’m telling you the truth, OK? I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m depressed. I cry every day.”

Spears has reportedly been in Maui with Sam Asghari, who shared a few videos on Thursday. The singer appears to be in good spirits, goofing around with her boyfriend.

“I want to be able to get married and have a baby,” Spears said during yesterday’s hearing, saying her conservators won’t allow her to remove an IUD.

“I was told right now, in the conservatorship, I am not able to get married or have a baby, I have [an IUD] inside of myself right now so I don’t get pregnant,” she revealed.

Britney has received support all around the world — and from ex-boyfriend, Justin Timberlake — after her shocking speech, which is the first time she addressed the conservatorship since it was put in place in 2008. 

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